Be Bored. Be very BORED.

2006-08-31T00:00:00.000+10:00

I have been neglecting this place of inner release with much fortitude and with a clarity of mind. No, it is not because I am busy with work or having too much fun. I just don't want to blog anymore. Now that my 3 year university education has come to an end, perhaps it is time to move on from this form of exhibitionistic behaviour. I have to admit, having that 10-20 people trespassing through this ground on a daily basis is quite an exciting affair. But on the same note, I haven't quite gotten used to having people judging my actions and thoughts. My dad is the most avid reader of my blog. Should I end this blog, my deepest regret would be to lose him as my reader. I can't think of a better way for my family and dearest friends to know what I am doing and thinking 100000 miles away from home than through this sacred writing ground of mine. It is time perhaps to revert back to the good o' email and snail mail. Back to the time-consuming and more personalised form of communication. Maybe I will feel like blogging again in the near future. Or maybe I will blog with regularity from the next month. I don't know. Till I do, I will keep this place open. Afterall, it is helping me store my memories from a place I would call home if one could have 2 homes. A place I have to leave soon but will be back.... When nostalgia gets the better hold of me, this will be the place I turn to to soothe the yearning heart. Goodbye for now my trusted friend.

Scenic Sydney

2006-07-16T19:42:00.000+10:00

Opera House & CBD

Harbour Bridge

Blah! Blogger hung on me and ate my words up. Munch Munch Munch! I am going to re-write in point form.

- Children are easier to deal with than adults.
- I am working for an education services agency as a childcare worker. Will be called up anytime, anyday (7am in the morning) to work at childcare centres, after school care for teenagers and babysit at people's houses.
- I like this employer. They expect alot out of their workers but protect their workers well too.
- Experiences as a childcare worker in Singapore and Australia gave me insight into the differences between their working and early childhood systems.
- At XXX Pre-school in Singapore (a pte school), I was underpaid, paid late, not given a lunch hour and made to do tasks I was not qualified to do so. But I got along well with the senior teacher who is now the Principal of the school. She is my perpetual referee. A good one.
- I had a short stint at HoneyPot childcare which is managed by my uni's union. I was the teacher of my teacher's daughter whose parents (my teacher and his wife) are Singaporeans. How quirky.
- Now that I am employed again, I will be shopping for work clothes. Why are pants so expensive? Oh well, they will come in handy in the future.
- Australian kids are very talkative and out-spoken. They also love hugs and kisses alot.
- I am amazed none of the kids have asked me why I sound different from the others. My accent I mean. I am just glad they understand me perfectly fine although I need them to repeat their names 10 times before I get them. Damn.
- One kid asked me last thursday what is that thing on my face. I recalled my little nephew asking me the exact same question maybe 5 years ago. Both pointed to the left side of my face and asked very innocently, "what's that?". Mole bloody hell, a mole. My mei-ren (pretty woman) mole. My nephew said that it was dirt and tried to scratch it off with me laughing on my sides. I wonder why kids find moles on faces a rarity.

Ok, I have to go now. My virus scanner found a virus - WORM/VB.CC - in my computer. Down with it!

2006-07-04T20:03:00.000+10:00

Hey Merry o' mo (Doesn't mean anything)!

I was packing my room yesterday when I found all the cards and letters I have received since I came to Sydney. Man, I felt loved and all fuzzy inside when I read through them again. There are the birthday cards from my parents every year without fail. There are the cards and letters I received when I was about to leave Singapore the first time round. There are the random letters I received throughout my stay here. And there are the cards and such from my Aussie friends.

The one's I received the first time I was about to leave for my 3 year university education were the most memorable. I still remember the departure at the Airport. My primary-secondary school friends were there, my rugby friends were there, my gymnastics girls ran to see me at the last minute (very drama! GP and Dy came running across the airport calling my name just as I was about to go though the gates. Just like in the movies), my family was there and my relatives came (nope, I didn't expect to see my uncles and aunties. I mean, I will be back in 4 months you know). I wasn't sad at all. I felt I had to come here. I didn't tell many people I was coming over for my education because I didn't know I was coming till the last minute. I also didn't wana be pulled back for anything. At that time, I was in a relationship, a long hard one. And there was enough emotions there already so I didn't wana go around announcing my departure.

As I read through the letters and cards again, I felt genuinely happy. These are words written by people who really care and love me. People whom I have grown up with. People who CAN judge me. And the words are real and filled with love. I am happy also because I know I must be doing something right in my life with friends. Friendships are very important to me. I treasure my girlfriends alot and to know that they treasure me back is something which no amount of money or studying can get. I hope to continue this dharmic cycle. Love your friends!

I feel surprisingly calm knowing that I will be leaving Australia in a couple of months. I have come to love this place and the people here. I am critical of many things here but I am critical of many other things. And usually, what I am most critical about is what I care most about. I was telling Christian the other day that I have to go back to Singapore someday because she needs me more than Australia does. Yes, Australia might be calm, democratic, free-speaking, friendly, relaxing and all things people look for in life. But it doesn't need me and I don't need it. Singapore is vulnerable, small, undemocratic politically and economically lost at the moment. And I know we can do something about it. I believe in my generation. I know we can build a better home in Singapore. Australia is too big and the people too contented. They are much more care-free but it is not what I am looking for. At least not at the moment. Maybe in a couple of years time, I might change my mind but not now, not yet.

And so my journey down under will be coming to an end soon. It has been a great one. I have fulfilled the goals I set for myself when I came. To complete my education (well, not yet as the results aren't out. Don't be surprise to hear me stay longer.), to live independently and to make Australian friends. All 3 elements have been as fulfilling as I envisioned them to be. My education was a blast. The education system here is awesome and the knowledge I gained was very satisfying. Living independently was a nice challenge. I lovex3 the freedom. But I realised that I am more like my parents than I knew myself to be. Back home, I detest cleaning and scoff at my parents' OCB cleaning habits. But over here, I realised that I am just as picky about cleanliness (well maybe not that much but much more than I expected). I detest dirty sinks, floors and toilets. I cannot stand things lying around. I am just a picky person I never knew I could be. Nice. As for my Aussie friends, they came abit later but they came nonetheless. I made awesome friends here and they make me smile and feel a part of them. I am going to miss them very much.

I am looking for my next journey in life already. Hope you are too.

PS If you are using IE to view my webpage, pardon me for the cranky html. My new webpage will be completed soon....

The Sleepy Jackson

2006-06-26T15:20:00.002+10:00

We went for The Sleepy Jackson concert on friday. An Aussie band from Perth. The main guy, Luke Steele (second from left), is awesome (Really can't think of a better word). His stage persona is quaint to say the least. The way he dances, the way he sings, his make-up, his hair, his clothings...... very captivating. Maybe that's why he named his band The Sleepy Jackson. Sleepy - narcotic - soporific - trance-inducing. [Brother, check them out. I will send you their music next time. You will love them too.] I want to enter his corpus callosum. I want to know how he thinks. Why he thinks the way he does and what makes him act the way he acts. I don't think I have met or known anyone who makes me feel this way. I might admire or appreciate certain characteristics of people but I rarely meet anyone whom I want to know, who interests me enough to make me wana know them, to talk to them, to find out more about them.

I am pretty anti-social. (My mum says it is because when I was young, she didn't let me interact with other kids. I just went for ballet classes, art classes, swimming classes..... and played with my mum most of the time) I don't feel the need to know people I don't need to know. The number of people I know and care to know can be counted with my fingers. I care about people but I don't feel that I need to know them. I don't really like small talks. I don't really enjoy meeting new people. Too tiring. I prefer analysing people. I like sitting quietly at parties looking at people. Seeing how they portray themselves. Hearing their conversations with other people. Judging their actions.

I am not bad at socialising. I get along fine at parties where I know no one. I have a nice smile and not so awful talking voice. I am interesting enough to think of topics offhand. But hell, I think it is tiring and boring sometimes. Sometimes, I wish I was more like my Aussie friends, able to talk to anyone about anything. But I doubt I will ever be like them. I prefer my intimate relationships. My single dates where there is no group dynamics to worry about. My conversations about anything under the sun with those few friends whom I love and who love me back just as much.

Anyway, back to Luke Steele, he made me change my mind for the moment. When I was watching him perform, I felt like I wana know people. I wana make new friends. I wana meet more people like him. I found this courage in me to venture out and be friendly. But it might be a momentary thing. As for now, I like him and his band enough to immerse myself into their music and ideals (my ideals maybe).

Paddington Town Hall

The place where they played. It was kinda weird. We were sitting on the wooden floors at the beginning and it felt like school assembly. Nostalgic.

Lee Jones

This guy is pretty good too. But his hair is too slimy and wet for my liking.

Luke Steele

Jess and me

So Christian bought the arm warmers for me (under my gentle persuasion again). I couldn't wear the pink ones and gave them to Jess. Jess was supposed to wear them to the concert but she forgot to. I made her take photos with me at home =) [They look pretty good Jess]

Fight!

2006-06-16T14:18:00.000+10:00

Sometimes i wish all men can just show what they are really like in the beginning. All the peaches and cream in the beginning is so misleading. When time passes by, u actually put up with all these things u originally would never settle for.

Quote found here.

Hahaha.... I am amused. I am surprised someone can come up with this quote which portrays exactly what I feel about relationships. I think it goes both ways though. The female counterpart don't always portray themselves as what they are at the beginning as well. But because I am a woman, I know what the quote is saying.

Luna Park and Ferris Wheel

2006-06-12T18:53:00.001+10:00

We went for the Come Together Festival on Sunday. It is a festival where Australian bands come together and play. The event was held at Luna Park. I have to admit, I went for the festival mainly for the rides. I have no bloody idea who any of the bands are and frankly, not much interest to. (Ooh.... except this one guy who plays the bass guitar and is cute like Dean Roland and IS A FRIEND OF SARAH. Man, I had to act so cool when he talked to me when what I really wanted to do was to run my fingers through his messy hair.) I wasn't expecting much really. Most of my Aussie friends haven't even been to Luna Park before in their entire lives. Not to mention that they closed down for such a long time and only re-opened last year. I went expecting a Singapore Fun Fair kinda thing and just to see see look look and be able to say "I have been to Luna Park before". But boy did I have a fantastically fun day! The rides were ok, not very high G force but there were quite alot of them so we could try different ones. We took the Ferris Wheel and almost froze to death coz the wind is like how strong? The highlight of the day is this place called 'Coney Island'. Inside this place, which is pretty huge, there are all the olden days emm... entertaining tools. All the stuff are made of wood. You can slide down long slides, walk on moving planks, walk though mazes and tumble through round wooden cylinders. It was awesome. I want to go back again!

Reuben and Sarah

Jess and me

Band

Long Slide

This is inside Coney Island. The slide we took was much steeper than this and it was great!

Moving Plank

Reuben's cute and spontaneous. Always willing to try stuff =)And that is Jess behind going "Nah, not going on this one".

Squeezing Through

In Place

This thing is kinda weird. So, around 6 of you will sit in the middle of this thing. The staff will push the start button and the thing turns round and round. The thing is very polished wood so you can imagine, people will start flying off.

Out of place

WHEE!

2006-06-04T18:03:00.000+10:00

The World Halal Forum was held from May 8-10 this year at KL. The World Halal Forum is THE Halal industry event of the year. The keynote speaker was Datuk Seri Hj. Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, The Prime Minister of Malaysia and the Chairman of the OIC (Organisation of Islamic Conference).

The World Halal Forum Objectives:

- To develop the Global Halal Market
- To understand and solve challenges faced by the Halal industry
- Address the need for industry standards for Halal on a global scale
- Create a networking event to facilitate trade between the different players in the Global Halal Market

Not interested? Neither am I. Heh. The only reason why I even know about this is because my dad WAS A SPEAKER AT THE CONFERENCE. He proudly proclaimed, "Visit www.halaljournal.com and click on Halal Forum - Photo Gallery - you can see daddy's photos.... with the Prime Minister of Malaysia". Now now, when did my dad become knowledgeable about Halal laws and regulations? Pretty amusing but impressive nonetheless. I can't find photos of my dad with the Prime Minister because the photos in the gallery are mini sized and the one I suspect is of my dad shaking hands with the Datuk cannot be enlarged (error message). BUT, I found kick ass huge photos of my dad alone. Row 7 and row 10 (Emm... my dad is chinese and has hair). I am impressed only because I freaking dislike [hate. my mum dislike me for using the word hate] public speaking and would probably shit in my pants if I had to address more than 25 people. So there.

People

2006-05-22T22:50:00.000+10:00

These are the product of my work at the Pottery studio. My very first cups. I am proud of them. I gave the 2nd one to my mum, the 3rd one to my dad and the 4th one to my driving instructor (when I passed yeah!). I kept the 1st one for myself. I am in the process of making bowls, flower vases and other things. It is challenging but janice loves challenges so there. If there is something you want, tell me? I can try and make for you. Handmade with love. Will not be perfect but will be filled with janice's handprints. If you want to pay me also can coz I have to pay for the clay and firing. Heh. When I become good at this, I will tell you. Then you can pay me. And I charge exorbitant fees.

Pat, you see this??? Whenever I make art stuff, I always think of you coz you always make me feel that I am good at it =)

2006-05-14T01:30:00.000+10:00

I have been wanting to post entries for a long time but just didn't get down to doing it. My life, ladies and gentlemen, has been going on. Once and if I get down to doing it, I will put up photos which capture those tiny moments in my life. For now, content with words.

For the past few weeks, life has been a roller-coaster ride for me (Final destination 3?). Up and down and up and down. Just yesterday, I was officially declared a female driver who can hog the road and speed down lanes by RTA. Just I week ago, I almost broke up with Christian again. And just 3 weeks ago, I broke up with him for a grand total of 6 hours. To make things clear, with Christian, I don't need to play the break up game like many couples do. The "humph! I want to break up with you coz you didn't call me last night" kind of break up. We are way to nonchalant to play such games.

Curiousity kills the cat. Have you killed yourself yet? If you haven't, then hear me say. First, let me tell you a story I heard years back when I haven't even dated before. The story goes.... the couple is happy and not married. They have been together for pretty long. So one day, the guy changed job and lo and behold, a female colleague stays near him. And so she suggested going to work together everyday. The gf was not very pleased to say the least. She wasn't comfortable with them meeting up every morning to go to work. And so she told her man so. The man, being a totally rational person, explained to her that she was really just a friend and they were really just going to work together for company and perhaps convenience. The gf, though knowing that they were just friends, just felt terribly upset.

What would you do ladies and gentlemen? Would you not meet up with the colleague in the morning because you care for your gf's feelings and what's the big deal about going to work alone? Or would you feel that being a rational person, I would carry on with it because there is completely nothing wrong with it. When I first heard this story, the first thought which came to my mind was "WHA I will confirm not be with this guy. Cannot even give in to the gf this tiny bit". And Christian's POV is "I will not be with the girl because my friends as just as important and I know there is nothing going on at all". So that is where the crack lies.

Christian is an awesome person. I will be the first to admit. Anyone who knows him will agree readily. But he has his own way of thinking and living his life which is not suited to being in a stable relationship. Not that it is bad or anything. In fact, I think it is bliss. But well, not that great for me I guess. I can't begin to explain to you how Christian thinks. For him, work, friends, relationships and fun are all part of life and living. That is true for everyone but the difference is, he places all of them in equal importance. He doesn't bother to rank them or to prioritise them. When one comes up, he will enjoy his time with that activity. That's how he perceives life to be at the moment. And work for him is of vital importance. He has his goal which he wants to achieve in this lifetime. And he doesn't wish for anything else to disturb that goal.

I am fine with the work thing coz I believe that we are young and young spirits should fly high and far. But to put relationships on equal footing with friendships is abit harsh for me. And I say that this is for me only. I am sure you can find heaps of people who disagree with me. Don't be mistaken. I have good friends back him in Spore whom I would die for and whom I love so very much. But the one special person is special to me precisely becoz he is. A relationship is a person to person thing. Not a person to many people thing. Which makes it precious and hard to find (at least to me).

Christian has never been in a relationship for more than a week because of his attitude towards life. I am his first "serious" gf. He is nowhere near a player or a jerk. The relationships he had have just been of the nature which can be easily broken. With no tears lost or no hearts broken. Always easy. So with me, it has been hard coz it is new and never experienced. When something happened to cause us to sit down and think about our differences few weeks back, it was a make or break moment. We had it coming.

--------------------------
Christian just sent me an sms at 2.11am. I shall invade his privacy and post it up.

I like to say your name. I like how round your voice sounds (don't ask me). I like telling you things you don't case (sic) about. I like how you can tell me anything and I will believe you. I like seeing you wear big jackets. I like feeling big when I stand next to you. I like picking you up and putting you somewhere. Janice.

And this, everyone, is my bf.
---------------------------

We discovered that we have irreconcilable differences with regards to our views on relationships. I am glad we discovered it one year later, not 6. I am a realistic idealist. I know what the reality is but I choose not to follow it. I choose to believe that love is all you need (with a little money and a whole load of faith). I am willing to give up anything for the one I think is worth it. This is why I take my time in finding love. Taking my time doesn't mean making the right choices. It just means I rejected others and got rejected in the process.

I have been cheated of my emotions a couple of times in my life. Not many but enough to burn a permanent hole. But similarly, I have been told that I have the ability to make people around me forget their worries and be happy, just by being me. And this is my gift. To love unselfishly. If I have to choose, I would choose the latter anytime. What's a little heartache compared to the other sufferings in life? Don't be mistaken again. I am not good. I am not self-sacrificial. I have my share of evilness which I try to get rid of every minute of my life.

Christian has love, but his love is for life and living. He sees life as one great adventure. How I wish he knew how much I admire him for this. He is the best example of someone not religious (meaning living life in certain ways) and yet happy most of the time. He has very good control of his emotions and he never gets angry or upset. He has mastered detachment without effort. Something I have been striving to achieve most of my life. But it has been hard. I am high strung and emotional. I am passionate and am not afraid to show it. I have love and can't wait to give it. I am just too controlled by my emotions to have a peace of mind and heart most of the time. It is a love-hate relationship. I love it coz it makes me alive and I hate it because I don't have control over how I feel and act.

So we decided to continue this relationship of ours despite our differences. The problem is not resolved but we know that it exists and that, is half the battle won. We knew that if we continued, compromises have to be made. He will have to sacrifice more of himself and I will have to let go more. Both are daunting tasks but we must have faith. I am unsure of it myself but I know that if and when the day comes when we both have to let go, it will be a good one. We truly enjoyed each other's company for the past year and more to come.

To my good friends back in spore, stand by me. I have found none as good as you guz have been to me. I treasure you guz so much. Especially when I know Christian has all the support he needs and mine is thousands of miles away. Loneliness is but a word which cuts through the heart. I have found love so pure and simple but tainted with the very sword I carry with me all the time. I shall reflect upon myself and with Christian I put my faith in.

Porcelain Cat

2006-04-16T20:25:00.001+10:00

And so I am back again. It is Easter break this week (meaning I have a one week holiday). Can you feel my bursting excitement? Really. This is probably the first holiday since I am in Sydney where I have nothing planned up. CY is busy with her honours work. Christian has to work work. Me? Just a blank. Some assignments to do but not that time consuming. I have actually been looking for a job but to not much success. Excuse me, rejection is the brother of success. I will probably be facing more rejections after I am back in Spore so this will be good training ground.

Anyway, life is exciting. I have been arty-farty this year. Going for pottery classes and making my own cups and bowls. Like hello? I will be using cups I made? Like how cool? Been doing canvas painting. This is self learnt. No classes whatsoever. Just amateur brushes, cheap canvas and paint, using plates as palette and plastic cups as water holder. I think my paintings are going somewhere. Maybe I will be a famous painter. Muahaha! I paint for interest ok interest not M.

I have had brushes with a couple of animals this semester. I shall introduce them to you.

This is our resident cat. He/She (e) has been loitering around our apartment since a couple of weeks ago. I think one of the residents might have abandoned it. I have been feeding E to the "screaming excitement" of CY. Once, E followed me up to my place and entered my home after I opened the door without me knowing. The next thing I knew, CY was screaming her heads off. I turned around and there E was sitting peacefully in my kitchen behind me. I feed E milk mostly. Christian told me to buy cat food. I would if E eats the food everyday. Sometimes, I wouldn't see it. I don't wana waste the food so I figured I might as well feed it human food. CY has labelled the bowl I use to feed the cat Kitty's Bowl. She will learn to live around it.

This picture of the cat reminds me of the cover of the book "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" by T. S. Eliot. I have the book lah that's why I know.

This is Christian's fish tank with 2 goldfishes. It was filthy after months of not cleaning and so under my persuasion (more like gun on Christian's head), Christian and I decided to clean the tank. It is quite an experience. Have to transfer the fishes, keep some of the old water, scrub everything including the moss-filled rocks, clean the sand, pour old and new water back into tank and then let fishies get accustomed to the water temperature (picture above). Quite a job but well worth it. We were just as happy as the fishes seeing the sparkling new fish tank and bubbling filter (it was so clogged up it stopped bubbling). And today, Christian bought some plants and put them in the tank. The fishes adore them. Swam around them, hid in them, ate them. Happy fishes!

Introducing Pigeon King (The one on the left)! Christian and I found him beside the park near his place. He is F~ing huge. He looks like a chicken can? Pigeons are supposed to look like..... birds, flying kind. He can't fly for shit we think. We love him. We worship him. We adore him. The Pigeon King.

2006-03-27T16:49:00.000+11:00

An edited conversation with my friend, who wishes to be anonymous for various reasons.

-------------------------------------

DiScObAbZ jaNiCe says:
cat, you are damn funny!

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
thank you but why..

DiScObAbZ jaNiCe says:
how can you flush down your panty????

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
i was stressed out laa...

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
then i wasnt wearing my specs

DiScObAbZ jaNiCe says:
and it got flushed away?

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
yah cos it was white.. so i thot my that;s a lot of tissue paper i used

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
so i flushed it away..

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
den i think again hey i nv tissue paper at home

DiScObAbZ jaNiCe says:
but how did it end up in the toilet bowl?

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
so im like shit!!!

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
my panty!!!

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
cos i took out my panty to bathe adn i usually placed my panty at a pail near the wc

so stressed that a panty was flushed down thinking it was tissue paper???!!! لسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة says:
so u noe stressed and misplaced

DiScObAbZ jaNiCe says:
hahhahahahahhahahaha

Us

2006-03-16T15:16:00.000+11:00

And so we went to far away Scone for a few days. The only reason why we went there is because SM is working there. Scone is so far away and empty that SM travels down to Sydney almost every weekend. 3 hours drive or 5 and a half hours train ride. This is the reason why I cannot apply for the regional Permanent Residence visa. As much as I like to stay in Australia, I don't think I would like to survive in some far away place from the city and away from people for 3 years thank you.

Emma, Christian's friend, is also staying at Scone. She was placed to teach at the school there last month. And because she can't find any housemates (duh!), she is staying alone in a 3 bedroom apartment. CY, Christian and I were supposed to stay at SM's place but since Emma has a completely empty bedroom (with mattress somemore), we switched alliance and moved to Emma's.

There really isn't much to do at Scone. Scone is known as the Horse Capital of Australia. Race horses are breed there. I was so excited coz I love to horse ride. And you know what they said? You can't ride horses in Upper Hunter Region coz they are all race horses. Totally. I mean, it won't kill them to keep 10 horses for tourism purposes you know.

So anyway, we decided to go trekking. It was so freaking hot we all nearly died. We walked so far, looking at not so luscious trees, just to reach the end point which they say lies burning coal beneath. But we did see interesting creatures throughout the journey like bulls, insects and little Komodo dragon like things.

That is about it. Scone. The yummy bread I like with butter and jam.

Emma's home

2006-03-16T15:15:00.001+11:00

Bulls?

2006-03-16T15:15:00.000+11:00

SM making friends

2006-03-16T15:13:00.001+11:00

Trekking

2006-03-16T15:13:00.000+11:00

Nature

2006-03-16T15:12:00.001+11:00

Coal buring underground

2006-03-16T15:12:00.000+11:00

2006-03-06T19:34:00.000+11:00

As much as I think that Firefox kicks the asses of IE and Opera, I think it works my computer overtime. After spending much of the day working on a presentation which is going nowhere, my computer was heating up and almost burning my table. Switched back to IE and the temperature went down immediately and no more scary machinery sounds. I am only blogging this to show that I am competent in using various internet tools. Have been writing resumes and this term keeps popping up and irritating the hell out of me. Well, not this term per se but writing resumes in general is a boring arse thing to do.

Ok, back to the going nowhere presentation. Political realism and liberalism. I give a great damn about them you know.

2006-02-28T23:56:00.000+11:00

Student Assesment/Exam Results

Student Results:

School Public Health & Community Medicine

Course Name GENM0703_X1_2006

Student ID z3113266

Mid (34) 31
Presentation (15) 12
Final (51) 47
Comment

My final grade is 90% can? Good can? Happy can? Crazy can? Even in secondary school also didn't get above 80% can? This is only a general education subject (worth half the units of a normal subject) but at least I can say I got a super high distiction in uni before. Ok, uni has started this week. Yeah!

Christian, Sars and bros

2006-02-22T18:59:00.000+11:00

2006-02-22T18:22:00.000+11:00

I found photos in my mobile taken during my trip back to S'pore and decided to post them up. Dad, mum, friends and a cat. Each has its own story to tell.

The one of Dad was taken at home. I was trying my "new" Sony-Ericsson K750i. It is so new that I have barely used it for one month IN TOTAL. The bloody phone is jinxed. I bought it last winter hols in Spore which was around July 2005. One week later, it stopped working altogether. I tried to get it repaired in Sydney which is so efficient that they didn't do anything to the phone the 3 months the phone was with them. And so I brought it back to Spore during summer and got it repaired at the service centre at Wisma. Went home, happy, tried to take a photo. Damn phone wouldn't take a photo. Took it back and got it repaired again. And then I had to take my dad's Motorola charger instead of my SE charger back to Sydney. Spent $40 bucks on the damn charger. All the time I didn't have the phone, I used my very-trusty Nokia 7250. Been with me since college. Unless SE does something about their damn technology which is fucking awesome but damn unstable, I am not gona buy another one of their phones. Period.

The photo with mum was taken at Mount Elizabeth Hospital. I had an eye infection and dad ordered me to go to a specialist. Did I tell you how I chose my doc? I searched the net for Mount E eye specialists and about 15 names came up. I was like "damn, how to choose? As if I know who is good." So I e-ni-mi-ni-e-ni-more and chose Dr. Ong because he has the same surname as my family. Well done right? Dr. Ong is nice lah. Everything also "Good, well done, you are doing very well." He did things to my eye I didn't think could be done. I shall leave it as that. I will go to that clinic again for my lasik check up next time.

The one with Pattybeef was taken at Mediacorp (TV recording studio). She had tix to view the final rehearsal for the Renci Charity Show and invited me along. Saw the Mediacorp stars, the Venerable and how small the studio is. On TV, the studio looks damn huge and can fill thousands of people but it is just camera trick. I miss Pattybeef coz she teaches me about Occupational Therapy. I miss those long phone calls with her where I can talk shit and she laughs at me.

The one with Wei and An was taken at the Macs at Shaw Building. We went back to SC (old school) before that and out of nostalgia, they decided to go to Mackers to complete the tour of the past coz back in the school days, they would hang out in Mackers after Squash. Wei is in USA and An is somewhere in Europe now. They are really my oldest friends. Known them since 6. Technology is good.

Lastly, the one of the cat was taken below my void deck. Before that, I was out with my gymnastics girls having dinner at Adam road. They are all very beautiful =) On my way home, I saw this cat and got a shock. It was huge and really beautiful and so I captured it on my phone.

So there it is, my trip back home in those photos. Not everything but enough. Family and friends make everything worthwhile.

Dad

2006-02-22T18:20:00.000+11:00

Tiger-cat

2006-02-22T18:18:00.001+11:00

Pattybeef

2006-02-22T18:18:00.000+11:00

Mum

2006-02-22T18:17:00.001+11:00

Wei and An

2006-02-22T18:17:00.000+11:00

2006-02-15T14:46:00.000+11:00

Harlow everybody! Long time no see!

Have been back for 2 weeks and life is just getting back to normal. I really did miss home pretty much when I just came back. Very uncharacteristic of me. I guess there really is such a thing as growing up.

Yesterday was Valentine's! Definitely a day for shops to rip people off and for people to show their love to other people in the eyes of other other people. Get this: You can only give flowers to your love ones on Valentine's and not on any other days because you love to pay alot more for less quality and make the people at the florist really really busy. Ha! I am so unromantic.

Then again, I still succumbed to social norms and celebrated Valentine's. I didn't give any presents though. Just the good o' fashion homecook meal and a romantic setting. Called mum in the morning and asked her how to make her super yummy pork chop. Then searched on the net for a recipe for grilled chicken. With all the ingredients on a piece of paper, I went to the shops and prepared for the little feast.

I came home and marinated the pork and chicken. Need to marinate for at least a few hours you know. I am/was happy. I am starting to have my own recipes instead of just following mum and dad's. When I was younger, I always wondered how can I ever have children because I can't cook yummy dishes like my parents (I am very serious. I really was very worried for awhile). My kids will either starve to death or die of developed country diseases aka diabetes, heart attack.... as we always have to eat out. Of course, this is highly debatable as many yuppies out there will say that they are surviving fine with takeaway food. But when you grow up in a house with homecook food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you will really appreciate it.

Christian came and we were all really to go. Where? Haha! This is where it gets lomantica. I prepared for an evening at coogee beach. All the food will be cooked at the bbq pit complete with a bottle of red wine and cool breeze. Of course, I will be the cook. The pork went first and looked very well. The chicken next and I couldn't see anymore coz no more sunlight. The red pepper, flat bean and button mushroom were then thrown in to cook with the chicken. And then, the bbq pit stopped working. It actually "closes" at 8.15pm. Luckily my food were all cooked already otherwise sad.

So there you go, my Valentine's spent with someone who bought me a tea pot and 2 matching tea cups. The ones I said I liked but didn't buy coz don't want to waste money. Oh, of course complete with flowers. Who said girls are not troublesome.

2006-01-20T05:25:00.000+11:00

Dr. House (American): 'What are the kid's chances?'

Dr. with quirky accent: 'Minimal at best....'

Dr. House: 'I suppose minimal at best is your stiff up your lip British way of saying no chance in hell.'

Dr. with quirky accent: 'I am Australian.'

Dr House: 'You put The Queen in your money, you are British.'

Above conversation ripped directly from House, M.D.

Oh, Dr. House (Hugh Laurie) is really a British acting American. He won the Golden Globe Awards too! Not that the two have anything in common.

The girls

2006-01-12T07:05:00.002+11:00

Long overdue photos taken at Sue's 21st, the second day after I touched down in Spore. She got smashed and felt bad about it. Silly girl. Khad got high too. And she repeated a couple of sentences again and again. Like, "I miss you so much you know" and then proceed to hug me real tight, "This is how I get him" and then continue to groove to the music and slide her boobies up and down my body & "Are you having fun?" and then continue the cycle by saying "I miss you so much you know".... I basically just kept repeating my answers to her, with sincerity of course. Coz I really do miss her like crazy.

Awesome.

Sue, me & Khad

2006-01-12T07:05:00.001+11:00

Khady baby

2006-01-12T07:05:00.000+11:00

The Monty Hall Problem

2006-01-04T17:07:00.000+11:00

'You are on a game show on television. On this game show the idea is to win a car as a prize. The game show host shows you three doors. He says that there is a car behind one of the doors and there are goats behind the other two doors. He asks you to pick a door. You pick a door but the door is not opened. Then the game show host opens one of the doors you didn't pick to show a goat (because he knows what is behind the doors). Then he says that you have one final chance to change your mind before the doors are opened and you get a car or a goat. So he asks you if you want to change your mind and pick the other unopened door instead. What should you do?'

The catch of this problem is this. If you use intuition, you think that there is a 50-50 chance you will get a car after the host has opened one of the doors because you think that there is an equal chance that the car is behind any of the remaining two doors. So you end up not changing your mind because you believe in your original decision.

However, Marilyn vos Savant said that you should always change and pick the final door because you will increase your chances of getting a car from 1/3 to 2/3. Through logic and maths, it is possible to see how this is true.

Looking at the probability tree below, if the contestant changes his choice, 2 times out of 3 he/she will get a car. If he/she sticks, there is only a 1 in 3 chance of winning a car.

I look at it in a simpler manner. At the beginning, there is already a 2/3 chance that I would be choosing a door with a goat behind it. So essentially, by changing my choice, I am betting that I have made a wrong choice at the beginning (2/3) which is a higher probability than betting that I have made a right choice (1/3).

For a more comprehensive explanation, look here.

Diagram and words courtesy of Mark Haddon in The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, page 62-65.

2005-12-24T03:29:00.000+11:00

Update from Shers with respect to my theory:

jan, about ur wenker's birdae theory... another eg. to add? in singapore, when we are buying policy, they'll put ur next birdae age. i just bought one last week. it states there age : 26. i say, i JUST turn 25 leh... so wad? im paying more? BUT! when it comes to insurance, like my car, they simply can't release the car to me cos i'm not fully 25 yet! which is only 1-2 weeks b4 my birdae! (at tat time)

'How old are you?'

Imagine that it is Febuary 2006 already, you were born in the year 1976 and your birthday is on the 2nd of August.

How old would you say you are?

If you are Singaporean, you would most probably reply '30'.

If you are Australian, you would most likely say '29'.

Right now, you are probably questioning my point in citing the above scenario. You are probably thinking 'big deal!?'. And you probably feel cheated trying to figure out all the mathematics which come out to nothing.

It is quite a big deal I tell you. And I figure that it boils down to differences in our education system. Well, not exactly system but read down to see what I mean.

In Singapore, children are placed into Kindergarten/Primary one based on their year of birth. Say you have a child who was born in 1999. She/he will be in Primary one come 2006. The month in which the child was born in has no bearings on the year she/he enters primary school (with certain exceptions like if the child was born on 1st Jan 2000 then the parent can appeal to let the child be placed in school with the 1999 batch).

In Australia, it works differently. (Before I go on, I have to say that most of what I know of the Australian system is from what Christian has told me. However, any mistakes made is the fault of mine alone for I did not research the validity of what he told me and failed to clarify all facts.) Children are placed into levels based on the months of their birth. It is like children born before July belong to the earlier batch and those born after July will be a lower level. The Australian system is also more flexible. If you are academically more inclined, you can skip levels easily. They are not year bound like the Singapore system which does not allow level skipping. (The Singapore system is elitist. Students more academically inclined are put into different schools, different classes, different environment. Sad segregated society.)

So you see. In Australia, months of birth are important. If you are born in October and someone asks how old you are, you better say you are the age before October like how I wasn't really 21 years old for the whole of 2005 until my birthday on the 22nd of October. And in Singapore, you get stick for saying you are 20 years old when in actual fact, you are ALREADY 21 since the 1st of Jan 2005. (They will say you are trying to act young).

Well, there was this thing (way of saying how old you are) when I was in school which says, 6 months before your birthday, you are X years old. If your birthday is more than 6 months away, you are X-1 years old. X being the current year subtracting your year of birth.

If you doubt my theory above, I have evidence.

This was extracted from a Singaporean blog:

Sad to say, I'm no longer a girl still in her prime age where loads of guys will gooogle after. In 2 weeks (2006), I'll be 28!!! Though my birthday's not in January (Thank God).. Imagine this scenario.....

SOmeone: So what's your age?
Me: 27
Someone: So you're born in 1979?
Me: Nope. 1978.
Someone: But that's 28 liao wat
Me: Birthday not over yet wat so still 27

Do you think they bother when is your birthday?? 2006 - 1978 = 28 lor

And from my experience trying to say that I am 21 years old throughout the whole of 2005 to the protests of my Australian friends who insisted that I am not considered an adult until my birthday, I can say that my theory is right until proven wrong.

So there, a new theory found. I shall name it, The Wenker's Theory of Birthdays.

Mammy is ** years old!

2005-12-19T00:47:00.004+11:00

At the hotel

2005-12-19T00:47:00.003+11:00

Rasa Sentosa

2005-12-19T00:47:00.002+11:00

At the beach

2005-12-19T00:47:00.001+11:00

Balcony view

2005-12-19T00:47:00.000+11:00

Siloso

2005-12-19T00:46:00.000+11:00

Just spent the weekend at Sentosa with my family. It was to celebrate mum's birthday and for dad to relax. I invited my cousins over to play and it was great! Always nice to chat with them, laugh and reminisce the past. CM spent the night with us too and she fitted in just fine =)

Protest in city

2005-12-11T17:22:00.002+11:00

Was walking along George street (city) today when suddenly, police bikes and cars came and stopped the traffic altogether. Drumming sounds and chantings could be heard. In less than 2 minutes, Christian and I saw people marching almost uniformly on the road, holding banners, waving flags and shouting phrases like "free china!", "no communism", "free Tibet", "down with the communist party!" and one banner had something to the effect of Taiwan values human rights, China should learn from them. WHA! Damn stylo. Onlookers like me were bewildered and smiling/laughing at the grandeur of it all. I actually had goosebumps seeing and hearing everything that was happening. Don't ask me why. It's just too..... bold and uncharacteristic of Asian culture.

The protestors were serious at what they were doing for sure. It was massive. I reckon there were at least close to a thousand protestors. I mean, to have the police come and help with the protest, it must have been planned a long time ago. Christian said that such protests happen at least once a week. I don't really think so. At least not to this extent and not to do with the Chinese. I wanted to attend the 'Climate Change' protest last week but didn't make it.

Anyways, it's all cool and maybe the Australian government will do something about the exploitation of cheap labour in China. Afterall, who wants more for less? Who wants cheap electronic products manufactured at half the price? People are irrational enough to find out the working conditions of everything made in China, you know, down to the nitty gritty details of whether the factories are air-conditioned or not. I mean, why settle for $2.50/hour when you can go jobless and maybe get more pay when foreign companies decide that they wana pay more for China's comparative advantage of "cheap labour".

Banners

2005-12-11T17:22:00.001+11:00

Dancing fairies

2005-12-11T17:22:00.000+11:00

TomatO?

2005-12-11T17:21:00.002+11:00

Yummy ain't it?

Handeka puppies

2005-12-11T17:21:00.001+11:00

Handeka puppies

Beating drums

2005-12-11T17:21:00.000+11:00

Sculpture by the sea 2005

2005-11-24T00:28:00.000+11:00

This event is held annually at bondi beach. Sculptures are placed artistically all over the place, on the beach, on the rocks, on the hills, in the sea...... My favourite has to be the egg (picture further down). Damn realistic can? There are so many sculptures that I got tired of looking at them. Have to climb up hills, walk down steps, squeeze with the crowd and the worst part: fight the flies. The damn flies. Damn the Australian flies. Then again, fanning them off constantly makes my arm skinnier so I guess they can't be that bad. Damn flies.

Isn't it great to be holidaying?

Reflection

2005-11-24T00:24:00.001+11:00

Where's Wally? (Christian if it may be)

2005-11-24T00:24:00.000+11:00

Blue

2005-11-24T00:23:00.002+11:00

Sizes

2005-11-24T00:23:00.001+11:00

Faces

2005-11-24T00:23:00.000+11:00

Holding a paintbrush

2005-11-24T00:22:00.002+11:00

Sunny side up

2005-11-24T00:22:00.001+11:00

Flock of birds

2005-11-24T00:22:00.000+11:00

Darth Vader?

2005-11-24T00:21:00.000+11:00

2005-10-27T17:11:00.000+10:00

'Women change, Harry,' Eamon said, leaning back, getting expansive. 'What you have to understand is that at different times in her life, a woman is like the world.'

'How's that?'

'Well, from 13-18, she's like Africa - virgin territory. From 18-30, she's like Asia - hot and exotic. From 30-45, she's like America - fully explored but generous with her resources. From 45-55, she's like Europe - a bit exhausted, abit knackered, but still with many places of interest. And from 55 onwards, she's like Australia - everybody knows it's down there somewhere, but very few will make the effort to find it.'

- Tony Parsons, Man and Wife, Pg 105

I absolutely love the Australia bit. Cracked me up =) On another note, if you wana see how I look like in a school uniform back in those days, go to wei's blog and click on diary.

Roses

2005-10-25T18:56:00.000+10:00

Pretty roses courtesy of dad. Each of them has an individual water bag. Very cute. But now I don't know what to do with them except to look at it whenever I am in the living room. I will dry them soon, when I have the time to cut the stalks of 36 roses and find the space to dry them.

2005-10-24T19:36:00.000+10:00

It has been a year since I did this. How time flies.

This year has been fruitful and tough. Exciting yet too exciting. Refreshing with confusion. Just the right kind of year to mark my big two one.

I wanted to do this post few weeks ago but time, effort and nostalgia prevented me from doing so.

Mum and Dad: I owe this precious life to you. You who brought me up and taught me the values in life. Every step I take, I take it with you in my heart.

Ko: I love you for loving me the way you love me. No need for sweet words. Tis' good enough.

Cousiees: You guz watched me grow and grew with me. How fortunate are we to have each other? Kann, Shers, Wanyu and all the others. I am glad to know that no matter what happens, you guz will always be around.

Khad: You know your place in me. Everything you do, is good enough for me. (I am now staring at the photo with our kick-ass-huge faces on it.)

Eun: Heard that you got all nostalgic on my birthday huh? Who ate my hammy??? You are still the nicest person I know on earth till date. Dont forget our appointment.

Pat and CM: Sex in the island it will be for us. You guz are always on my mind. I don't care if one goes to NZ and the other to HK for good. You are here to stay in me.

Wei: How do I say this? You will always be part of my memories, and hopefully more to come. I am happy to know that you are happy. That's all I need.

GP and Dy: You guz kick ass. Looks to kill. Body to die for. Attitude to boot. More importantly, you guz care. And of coz laugh, think and do the craziest things ever.

------------

I have lots to say to my Aussie friends. But at the same time, I don't really wish to express them. I think they think differently. We grew up in different environment so naturally we have differing ideologies and mentalities. I don't know how much of what I say, mostly feel, strikes a chord with them. They bring to me, a whole new perspective and yet, most of the time, I feel so with them, like they are my little nest, bringing me warmth and keeping me safe.

I am fortunate to have met a great bunch of them. Very loving and caring people. (Blogger just ate the second half of post. Too bad.)

To sum it up, they provide me with warm and comfort. Steph, Sarah, Fran and gang. I feel no need for pretense in front of them. Then there is Christian. Very rubbishy and playful. But just as gentle and kind. Irregardless of our relationship, I love him to bits. Just like how the others love him. Just think of it as good karma. Someone who thinks of cockroaches as friends, cannot be too bad.

----------

I hope for this session to end soon. It has been one of the most challenging periods since I started. I need to go on a break and refresh myself. Before that, I will have to study and kill all my brain cells. Cheers to growing older!

YOSH!

Steph and Ben

2005-10-24T17:56:00.003+10:00

Michelle

2005-10-24T17:56:00.002+10:00

Tariq and Gabriel

2005-10-24T17:56:00.001+10:00

Jess, Sarah and Ping

2005-10-24T17:56:00.000+10:00

CY

2005-10-24T17:55:00.004+10:00

Lee Hui, Jing Jing, Joanne, Joanne's bf, CY

2005-10-24T17:55:00.003+10:00

Cherry

2005-10-24T17:55:00.002+10:00

Song Ming and Thomas

2005-10-24T17:55:00.001+10:00

Jooean and Justin

2005-10-24T17:55:00.000+10:00

Reuben and Fran

2005-10-24T17:54:00.002+10:00

Christian

2005-10-24T17:54:00.001+10:00

Meshmash

2005-10-24T17:54:00.000+10:00

2005-10-18T23:12:00.000+10:00

On the issue of disability in NSW:

These are matters of simple decency. We have allowed these issues to slip off the
broad political agenda. We need to put them back. While the Government must
always protect its economic credentials it must also have a heart.

- Premier of New South Wales, the Hon Morris Iemma MP
(Inquiry into Changes to Post School Disability Programs)

I believe the same should go for all business people, rich or poor, CEO or small firm manager, successful or not. Capitalism is not something we can run away from. Neither is it something we can change and turn the clock back on. We live in a materialistic world regardless of whether we like it, or how much we are embracing it. What we should aim for, is a society which is both economically healthy and socially conscious. The people who have a direct impact on this, are those high up in the hierarchy calling the shots and feeding the livelihood of many of us. It is of importance to sustain profits and keep us in employment. But more importantly, it is how they do what they do that will impact on the functioning of society and whether we, as a whole, can make the world a better place to live in.

2005-09-21T15:34:00.000+10:00

This post is an adaptation of the brain child of him and his post. Trackbacks available @ Tomorrow.sg.

I am that cute little thing as far as my memory brings me. Big eyes, chubby cheeks, dimples and a perpetual smile. People adored me, or so I remembered. My face was a pinching bag, much like that of a punch bag. My eyes were always commented on, how they shine and cover half the size of my baby face. As a child, I learnt to take these praises with a tinge of shyness and hypocrisy, like how mum would say "No lah, she where got pretty?" when what she meant was "I know she is so pretty right!"

I am that little girl crying. At the airport, the three of us would cry like how we are meant to cry at an airport. We have to bid dad goodbye once again. I didn't understand why. Why did we have to separate? Why did we cry? But I knew it had to be something sad, for mum and ko would never lie to me about emotions. If they were crying, I knew I had to cry. Once every few months, we would do this. Cry when we are meant to. It was a ritual of some sort. I didn't know what was a normal family life was. I thought mine was normal, until I knew better.

I am that terrified little girl. Why are they screaming at each other? Why is dad so angry? Why did he throw all mummy's clothes out? Why is mum leaving? Don't go. Please come back. You have to come back. My pleading eyes were the only form of communication. The door knocked and I secretly opened. I can still remember her looking down at me with such love and comfort. She put her finger on her lips and came back in. I will not let her leave me again.

I am that girl donning that distinctive blue uniform. I never knew homework was meant to be done at home. I never did any until my scary chinese teacher with a long ruler threatened to throw me, together with my empty notebook, out of the window. My aunt is a teacher in the school. I learnt from a young age that politics is omnipresent. There is no escaping them. Caught in class for talking when I never opened my mouth. Sent to see my aunt for the stupidest reasons ever - just for them to show who the boss was. But I had it good sometimes, if the teacher was an alliance of my aunt or is a newbie. Moral pupil awards, answers to exams, 9/10 when I only got 5 correct were some of the benefits.

I am that girl prancing around the gym, running on the tracks and dancing like a ballerina. Sports is in my blood. Mum and dad were proud of me and I knew it. My shelf full of medals, cups, trophys and certificates were prove of their nurturing and my spirit. The long hours of gym practice mould me into who I am. Tenacity is the word. Pain is absent from the dictionary. Mum was the woman. She picked me up from practice with a cup of milo everytime. Warm food was on the table everyday and night. Supper was made whenever we studied late. She never once told me to give up my sports regardless of my school results.

I am that girl with a curl in front of her forehead. When everyone else was dating and thinking boys were cute, she was too idealistic to follow the trend. Prince in a white horse coming to pick her up someday was more her cup of tea. Thinking she is so much more mature than the others, she prided herself on not conforming to the norm. Rebellious and full of spunk, her teenage years were spent sneaking into clubs with her older friends and cousins. She thought them to be knowledgeable and much better than those prissy pampered girls in her school. Still, she owes much of her upbringing to her alma mater.

I am that girl in a completely different environment. More down to earth and normal people could be seen here. People who actually have to save to watch a movie and have to worry about money for the next meal. I felt at home or rather, I felt that this was real. Travelling 3 hours everyday to and from school was no joke. It required much perserverance which seems almost impossible now. Touch was The thing. It was what and where she met the best buddies in her life. It was where she truly felt team spirit and what fighting to win was all about. Mud and rain was the lethal combination. Dirt? What dirt? On retrospect, she wonders how she managed to get past that stage and proceed on when she slept in 80% of all her lectures, spent 50% of school time playing touch and one eighth of the day travelling on the bus.

I am that disillusioned girl. He came, saw and conquered. 18 is the age when everything changed. I was no longer that pure and innocent girl I did not think I was. Chaos was everywhere in my life. What was I doing and thinking? Trust in people is my forte. But it is also my demise. And it still is except that now I have friends who know this in me and are willing to do all they can to protect me. I am eternally grateful to them. As for him, I can only think of it as a lesson in life, one which I treasure for it brought so many new perspectives in my life. I was blinded before. I now know who are the ones who will always be by my side when I need them.

I am that girl flying over to a brand new place. New life, new friends, new environment. It was hard at first. Real hard. But who says things don't get better in life? Sometimes, I take guilt trips on my own. I wonder if it was worth it coming over. I feel bad for dad. He who sacrificed so much for us. But I know I really wanted to do this. And since I have set my heart on this, I just have to carry it through. I know I can do it.

I am that girl who is officially going to be labelled as an adult in one month's time. I have my dreams, my aspirations and a heart full of love and spirit. I have a companion who calls me the most infuriating person in the world but whom I know cares alot about me. At the moment, I know that things is how I want them to be. I cannot predict the future, no one can. I can only live the best as I can and hope for the best to happen.

If, maybe, I think, that I am that girl, then who are you?

I dedicate this post to you. You who make me laugh and cry all at the same time. You who is the most unorganised person but who manages to make it all the time. You who make me certain yet uncertain of the future. You who give me hope and make my life complete at the moment in time.

2005-08-30T17:57:00.000+10:00

A post for my best friend

Tears of joy stream down my face
Lots of thoughts go through the maze
Though apart we are in distance
Sparks of excitement lit up my system

Dear love, I promise to write you soon. Judging from the fact that I have 2 mid sems and one assignment due next week, pardon me for expressing myself through this medium. Plus I wana share my joy with people =) Trust me, I can feel IT thousand of miles away. I am overjoyed and need to spew from the overflowing excitement as I just had a cup of coffee. Love you very much.

2005-08-22T16:56:00.000+10:00

Went for ski trip last last weekend with Steph, Sarah, Fran and Christian. Awesome! The 4 of them did skiing and I did snowboarding. Sarah wanted to do snowboarding as well but the stupid tour guide kept saying that it is very difficult for a first timer blah blah blah so I ended up doing it alone. Fell umpteen times. Have 2 huge bruises on my knees to show =)

For shers: It is kinda like wakeboarding. Have to choose the board to suit the side you are comfortable with ie. lefty or goofy. But I think it is easier to get the hang of snowboarding because you will naturally slide down the slope unlike wakeboarding where we have to go against the pressure of the speedboat to stay on the water. But upon saying this, I have to add that this is where snowboarding is hard as well because you go down DAMN TOO VERY FAST. When I say fast, I mean fast like fast. Because I havent got the hang of moving right and left and stuff, I always have to fall to avoid people or to avoid banging onto the barriers. You will love it!

We stayed at a snow resort about 30 mins away from the snow. The resort is self sustaining I tell you. They have every damn thing, restaurant, ski hire, spa, pool, bar. On the second day, we went to play snow and build snowman/woman. Our snowman/woman kicks ass! It was great seeing snow for the first time in my life. It was great spending time with people I love. Till the next time we go to the snow again! (perhaps to NZ coz it is cheaper and better).

Sarah, me, Steph, Fran

Christian and me

Ahem!

Heh heh

Lotsa people

Mr/Ms Snowman/woman

Wearing snowboard

Getting ready....

Steady boom pi pi

Wheeee

Backview

Snow lodges

2005-08-02T18:45:00.000+10:00

I am very very excited! I will be involved in a real research cum policy analysis project this semester. My class (around 20 of us) has been commissioned by a couple of NGOs to do a report on a disability issue in NSW. The issue is this: The state government recently reformed the disability program in NSW. Essentially, the reforms are about cutting funds and providing lesser day program activities for the disabled people. The reforms have been received negatively by the public and have affected the families, carers and disabled people to a large extent. We are working directly with Wingap, a disability organisation, to formulate a research proposal to uncover the unintended consequences of the reforms to the affected families and individuals. This is full on I tell you. I have been doing research stuff for the past 2 years of my uni but they are just for the eyes of the lecturers and nothing more than to get good grades. But this is life changing! We will actually be doing something which will be used extensively to "fight" the government and aim for improvements. It is hard to believe that I will have the opportunity to do what I love to do (social research) and have an impact on society so early at the start of my unstarted career. Elated! The director of Wingap gave a talk to us a couple of hours ago and she even mentioned part time employment and staff..... I want the experience! Gota do this well I tell you. There is the additional motivation of helping society which will hopefully push me harder to do well in this project. Thats all for now. It is still early days yet. The work is pilling up my ass and nothing is worth fighting for if it aint hard to achieve.

2005-07-30T21:07:00.000+10:00

Went for a backpacking trip with CY again this winter hols! We headed up north-west towards Blue Mountains. The main draw was the abseiling one day adventure trip we signed up for. Shiok! Met Steph and Ben there coincidentally (although I knew they were heading up to blue mountains as well). Did lots of trekking. Am lazy to type too much about the trip and so I shall let the pictures do the talking. We just kick ass lah =)

At backpacker's

2005-07-30T20:51:00.001+10:00

Trying on cool beanies

2005-07-30T20:51:00.000+10:00

At the bar

2005-07-30T20:50:00.004+10:00

Cards at cafe

2005-07-30T20:50:00.003+10:00

The Carrington Hotel

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Steph!

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Yummy sophisticated cakeshops

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Down down down

2005-07-30T20:49:00.003+10:00

In da cave

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Me!

2005-07-30T20:49:00.001+10:00

Abseiling!

2005-07-30T20:49:00.000+10:00

Pretty sun

2005-07-30T20:48:00.002+10:00

Thinking moment

2005-07-30T20:48:00.001+10:00

Picnic in wilderness

2005-07-30T20:48:00.000+10:00

1

2005-07-30T20:47:00.002+10:00

Blue mountains

2005-07-30T20:47:00.001+10:00

Gorgeous stream

2005-07-30T20:47:00.000+10:00

3

2005-07-30T20:46:00.001+10:00

2

2005-07-30T20:46:00.000+10:00

Waiting for bus

2005-07-30T20:45:00.000+10:00

Sunset

2005-07-30T20:44:00.000+10:00

Going home by train

2005-07-30T20:42:00.000+10:00

2005-06-24T03:39:00.000+10:00

Aung San Suu Kyi turned 60 on 19th June 2005. She spent her birthday in detention, without any family or friends to celebrate the day with her. My brother turned 26 on 22th June 2005. He had his love ones and friends surrounding him on that day wishing him a blissful life ahead. All that Ang San Suu Kyi wishes for, is for peace and democracy in her country.

Aung San Suu Kyi was born in 1945. She was educated in Burma, India and the United Kingdom. She married Micheal Aris, a Tibet scholar and had 2 sons. In 1988, she returned to Burma to take care of her ailing mother and immediately became involved in the country's fight for democracy. She joined the newly-formed National League of Democracy (NLD) and gave numerous speeches calling for freedom and democracy. In 1999, his husband became ill and requested to see her in Burma but was rejected. Government officials urged her to visit him in London but she refused for she knew that she would not be allowed to return to the country once she left. He died without seeing her for one last time.

In 1989, Aung San Suu Kyi was placed under house arrest in Rangoon under martial law that allows for detention without charge or trial for three years. In May 1990, despite her continuing detention, the NLD won a landslide in the general elections by securing 82% of the seats. The military regime refused to recognise the results of the election. In 1991, the military regime amends the law under which Aung San Suu Kyi is allowed to be detained for up to 5 years without charge or trial. In 1995, the regime released her from the house detention but forbade any form of political leadership. In 2000, she was placed under house arrest again, this time lasting for 19 months. In May 2003, during a tour of northern Burma, Aung San Suu Kyi and her supporters were attacked by the regime and as many as 70 people were killed and 100 arrested. She is currently under house arrest in Rangoon where no visitors are allowed and no phone lines available.

Burma's military regime has since 1996 sought to attract international tourists to what is indeed one of the world's most diverse and beautiful lands. Yet large parts of Burma remain off-limits to tourists because of military operations, narcotics trafficking in border areas, and a contentious gas pipeline built across southern Burma. And many tourism-related projects have involved massive forced labor, arbitrary property seizures, compulsory relocations, and other human rights abuses.

Groups promoting democracy in Burma urge tourists to stay away from the country and boycott the junta's tourist drives. Many travel agents and tour operators have publicly declared that they will not book or operate tours to Burma. These efforts have apparently been effective; the occupancy rate at Burma's top hotels is under forty percent. Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, Nobel Peace Prize winner and leader of Burma's democracy movement, agrees that tourists should not visit Burma until there is a restoration of democratic rule. "We think it is too early for either tourists or investment or aid to come pouring into Burma," she told visitors to her Rangoon residence in November 1995. "We would like to see that these things are conditional on genuine progress towards democratization."

In Mandalay and other cities tens of thousands of people were forced to leave their homes without compensation to make areas more attractive to tourists. Other property has been arbitrarily seized to build new hotels or tourist facilities.

To do your part for humanity and peace, send an email to Senior General Than Shwe, Burma's dictator, asking for the release of Aung San Suu Kyi and pledge not to go to Burma till democracy has been achieved.

Thank you.